


Natural

by black_cottoncandy



Category: Take That (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 08:34:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29980203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/black_cottoncandy/pseuds/black_cottoncandy
Summary: [...] He’s simply being himself, and it comes so natural to him.
Relationships: Howard Donald/Jason Orange
Comments: 2
Kudos: 6





	Natural

**Author's Note:**

> This was written in a rush, i’m sorry in advance  
> Feel free to leave comments <3

The music plays loud in the club. It all feels dazing: the lights, then the sudden dark, then another flash again. It makes the vision blurry. The alcohol fills the air, and it helps everyone to loosen up, or at least that’s what they say. People move frantically to the sounds, nobody seems to be actually following the rhythm though.

Only one among the crowd is able to catch his attention. He stands out, for many reasons. But all of them can be summed up in the fact that he’s Howard Donald.

He’s simply Howard. He is the way he is, and acts. The way he talks to people and the way he dresses. The way he’s dancing to that new Chemical Brothers song that just started playing. Everybody claps and starts jumping around. Howard smiles and closes his eyes, lets the music flow in his body and blend with his blood, he breathes the sound in slowly, holds it in for a while and then lets it out again. And then he starts moving, with grace and energy at the same time, his head shaking and his feet barely touching the ground.

That’s just him, it almost feels like watching a beautiful and rare specie in its habitat. It’s _natural_.

That’s what Jason’s mind is busy with while watching his bandmate in the middle of the dancefloor. He sits at their table, picked wisely in one of the distant corners of the club by Gary. He holds his glass still half filled and swirls it, his gaze never leaving Howard. He sinks into his seat, takes a sip and coughs slightly at the strong taste. He doesn’t know how long ago Gary left, yapping the same old excuse to go back to their hotel and drown into his lyrics sheets. He doesn’t know where Mark and Robbie are, neither what they’re doing.

He should care, like he always tries to, but tonight he can’t. He has promised himself not to. Because Jason’s mind is always so fucking busy he wishes he could stop it for one minute only. It’s like a bunch of gear wheels that never stops moving. It’s tiring, it’s exhausting, always thinking. So he made a point not to worry, not to care, he can have a well deserved good time, because just for tonight he’s a whole new person.

The song gradually flows into another one, the rhythm changes and Howard opens his eyes like he just woke up from a trance state. He looks around and catches Jason’s stare that never left him. His face lights up in a smile, strobe lights dancing on his skin, and waves at his friend from a distance. Jason’s smiles and waves back, and watches Howard beginning his dance again, the whole world spinning around him, and he looks like he’s having the time of his life, not a single worry on his mind, and that’s because he’s simply being himself, and it comes so _natural_ to him.

Jason shifts uncomfortably in his seat. They’ve been in this van for ages, or at least it’s what it feels like. The early afternoon light that shines through the windows blinds him.

He wants to doze off but he already knows that if he dares to he can say goodbye to a decent night of sleep later. that’s another trick that mind of his seems to have fun with. He tries to focus on something in order to keep himself busy: the wheels rhythmically hitting some holes in the ground, the fuzzy dice swinging at every turn. He glances over at Robbie, sitting on the hard floor not far away from him, playing on his Gameboy and swearing every now and then. Mark softly snores next to him, his face pressed on the glass.

A melody catches his attention and over there he notices the source. Gary and Howard are humming what it happens to be a new song. The blonde scribbles manically on the papers and it’s clear that it’s far from being finished. He repeats the chorus out loud a couple of times, not pleased with what he came up with. Howard studies him, then the lyrics, then Gaz again, his face tensed up with focus. Gary sings again and Howard tentatively follows him, trying different notes.

Jason stares almost in awe, already knowing whats coming next. Their expressions slowly change, their singing grows bolder and louder, their faces light up.

“That’s brilliant Doug, let’s do it one more time from the top!” Jay hears Gary say. His attention is all on Howard though: he looks like he couldn’t be prouder of what he just did. His smile is big on his face and his hands twitching with excitement. he just “saved” a song from being mediocre and made it great instead. And all he had to do was sing along in a different key. Jason can’t quite believe how talented Howard is, he feels like a proud older brother, he admires him.

The two of them finish the chorus once again, and then they clap and cheer loudly. Howard’s shy laugh fills the van, his eyes sparkling and flooding the space with light. Mark wakes up and mutters something slightly while stretching, and the two turn to him mockingly.

Howard catches Jason’s stare and smiles again, and he gestures for him to come sit with them. Jason’s expression is warm while he gets up and slowly sits again next to his friend. He gives him a pat on the shoulder and ruffles his hair.

“That was awesome, mate”, Gary says before starting to work on the verse. And Howard follows him again, like it’s the easiest thing on earth.

Jason’s mind is busy once again: he wishes he could be on the same wavelength as them, as him, but he isn’t. It’s probably something that the others would never even notice, because they feel like a team, and they really are, but Jay can’t help but noticing those small little differences.

He thinks, while Howard creates. He reflects, while Howard just does, makes, invents. Because to Howard it’s the simplest thing ever, it comes so _natural_ to him.

Jason takes a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror. He looks worried, his face suddenly 40 years older, carrying secret concerns that he keeps to himself. He shakes his head, wishing his thoughts would fly away from his ears. He just ends up feeling dizzier instead, his mind feeling heavy on his shoulders. He bends over, his forehead touching the glass. He sighs slightly.

He doesn’t even notice the sound of footsteps getting closer until he feels a warm hand on his back. He turns around and sees Howard next to him. They don’t talk.

Jason wouldn’t know what to say, he’s always been good with words but this time he doesn’t how to explain the whole mess inside him. And Howard couldn’t think of a proper answer, ‘cause what can you even say to fix someone’s feelings? Yet they feel more connected than anyone else in the entire world, just staring at each other.

Howard slowly hugs him, lets him rest his head on his shoulder, caressing his back, almost like a baby. Because Howard knows, even without words. He knows how difficult being Jason Orange can be. He wants to free him from all the responsibilities he insist on giving himself everyday, he wants to say that it’s all fine, and that he can go a day without being the wise one. They’re not much older than kids after all. And Jason wants to believe him, desperately. He wants to let all his worries flow out of his body in that exact moment and watch them crawl away on the floor. Away from that room, from his life. He wants to enjoy the good times they have to the fullest.

He sighs again. They’re not sad. They can’t be when they’re in each other presence, it feels wrong. They feel relieved to have each other. They don’t seem much different to the eyes of the outer world. Both young, both handsome, tall and muscly. They dance perfectly and speak rarely. Maybe it’s because of how much they have in common that they can still understand each other perfectly even if they’re actually so different.

Jason can feel their opposite minds immediately when he notices Howard slowly tilting his head and leaning in to kiss him. He panics. His brain is suddenly filled with “ _what if all becomes weird after this?_ ” and “ _what if the others find out?_ ” and “ _what if it’ll affect the band dynamics?_ ”. He finds himself shaking, his hands trembling in the cold air not knowing where exactly to be placed. Howard predicts everything and grabs them with his eyes still closed, ‘cause he also can be wise after all.

Jason seems to find peace with that touch only. Stays still trying to clear his mind, he’s trying so hard. Squeezes Howard’s hands and takes a deep breath. He got this. He closes his eyes and finally kisses him too. Because it doesn’t come that easy to him, not as much as it does to Howard, but he can learn.

For that moment only, it can feel just so _natural_ to him too.


End file.
